Just a day or two after the results of the tests were given, so the appointments started. Have to say it can be quite overwhelming for someone who is not familiar with hospitals and travelling around London. Thankfully I have quite a good knowledge of the hospitals and getting to them due to my own ridiculous health, so this was not going to be a problem. None the less, the sheer number of appointments tha suddenly pop up is hard to comprehend until you are trying to schedule them.
Within days you are looking at blood tests, scans, X-rays, biopsies as well as oncology to decide treatments, doses, follow ups etc.
It's quite strange that as I'm looking back through the entries of the past 3 years I realise how much of this I have forgotten about, or at least put to te back of my mind. It really has been quite and epic journey to date, and I would do it all again in an instant if someone I cared about fell ill.
So the first day of proper appointments was Thur 6th March. This day was investigations day really, with a whole series of bloods being taken, and various other tests, mainly to check her overall well being. This was to assist their decision for medicating her. The other side of things was to have X-rays to make sure they knew what area they were dealing with. One of the important things to realise at this stage is cancer is a nasty little bugger, and can get all over the place. So actually seeing signs of it in one part of the body, does not mean that is the only place it has crept into. Because of the nature of the beast it is important to make sure all other areas of the body are clear of it, before putting the body through the process of chemo or any other treatments.
The way these tests are done is all very swift, with no scope for discussing the results at this stage. It is simple fact gathering for the specialist. So as frustrating as it is, rooms are entered and left quickly, with nothing being said between the parties. I must admit that it seems to work better this way for one simple reason... Information overload. Having just taken on board what was said by the consultants, it would be impossible to just a few days later start digesting a load more medical talk, and put it all into context.
The only thing you do start to notice when spending a lot of time in a hospital is just how busy they are. Dumb thing to say I know, but when you just spend 30 mins in a hospital you don't really take on board how much is actually going on in there. Then suddenly you spend a few hours in various departments and really start to appreciate everything that is going on, and how one simple thing can bring a department or indeed the whole hospital to a standstill. On our first big appointment day we were scuppered twice. Once in the blood test clinic when a small child passed out, and the second was an influx of blue light patients, calling certain doctors and specialists away from their clinics to attend to emergencies.
At this stage in the journey two things were frustrating me. Firstly the lack of emotion to the whole matter, I still seemed very detatched from it all. Was really not giving the whole "mum is dying" thing much thought. To be fair this is pretty normal for me to remain detached from a situation like this. Was not sure I would with it being mum and all, but early days this was certainly the case. The other frustration was my own health. Having only has surgery at the beginning of the year for release of the tendon in my elbow, I was still in a fair bit of pain to say the least. while you try and put this to the back of your mind, it is not always so easy. And sitting in the same hospital, one floor up from the clinic YOU attend, is really quite annoying to say the least.
Going back to the day, the one thing that is noticeable is the flow and frequency of appointments. Having only converted to a Blackberry a short whle beforei have to give it credit, and admit it made life so much easier for me, being able to keep tabs on what was happening on any given day, which department to go to and their contact details. Invaluable to say the least.
So after much prodding and poking, Day 1 of tests was over. The next was scheduled for the following week, and this was the much dreaded CT scan. Mum was not looking forwards to this as she said if there was more cancer, she didn't want to know about it. Easy to sayand just turn away from, but better the devil you know etc.......
Showing posts with label breast cancer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label breast cancer. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
March 4th 2008, the results are in...
So almost 2 years ago to the day now, and we returned to the hospital for the results of the biopsy and other tests. As you can see from the attached link, a lot was said.but let me try to put this all into context, with my now distant and experienced view of that day.
http://michaelsnasdell.wordpress.com/2008/03/04/back-from-the-hospital-with-the-results/
The results were inevitable really. Having alread been examined and diagnosed by Mr Hamed, it was not a matter of IF mum had cancer in both breasts, but more, what could be done about either or both of them. The diagnosis was explained in detail, and the list of options were to be explained. At this point I was in the waiting room, allowing mum some dignity and privacy while she was prodded and poked in the examination room. Like last time I was eventually called in and sat down.
The nurse and consultant explained the details of what they had found from the results, told me what it all meant, and got down to the conversation of treatments.
You can imagine my shock when Mr Hamed opened by saying mum had agreed to give chemo a go! Wow. From one week ago where she had just wanted to roll over and die, now she was expressing an interest into probably the roughest treatment open to her. Radiotherapy and surger had been suggested, however with the limited facts mum decided she would go with the "least intrusive" treatment. This however as some will know is not exactly the most accurate description of chemotherapy. Putting mum to one side for a moment we spoke frankly about the other options, and what the predicted outcome of those would be, just in case mum wanted to discuss them at home. She had refused to take any info on any other treatments, so I made sure I got what I could and left the appointment as well informed as I could be. This again was a decision that would prove invaluable, and also soon become a habit of mine.
On ending the appointment a basic prognosis was given. That was in short, the treatment on offer was more to do with comfort and maintaining the best possible condition, whilst also accepting it would NOT be a cure, and that from this point in the condition should be deemed terminal. As you can imagine, that's quite a difficult thing to hear and comprehend. She however claims she was always sure this would be the case,so was no surprise to her. Somehow I have my reservations on that. Believing something, and consigning yourself t death are two very different things. I think both of us left the appointment that day understanding, but not yet accepting what had been said.
As we went home I left the conversation for a while. Wanting mum to be the one wanting to discuss the matter, and just trying to focus on other this for the time being.sure enough it was not long before she started talking about it. Letting her lead, wanting to hear her purest thoughts on the matter without influencing her words with mine, I just left her to speak. As the conversation moved onto her accepting the treatment she explained why she had suddenly changed her mind.
It was apparent from this that while a quiet and humble man, Mr Hamed is also a very clever man at making his point, and pulling no punches. He had basically explained to her that there was NO easy option, slipping away was not as easy as it sounded, and that there were two choices. Chemo to get the lump under control and reduce it in size, or a slow painful undignified death. I know at this point it might seem extreme, but he was instrumental in being the detached influence on mum, and the one who got the train of thought moving. 100% support and commend him for this decision.
I should explain a little, the main tumour that mum has found, the more threatening one and the one that required immediate treatment was pushing through the skin of the breast. Actually sticking out of a wound in the side of her breast, which was weepy and predicted t just get worse and worse. In fact the only reason she had told me about it in the first place was because it was beginning to weep. The first choice of treatment was to whip it straight out and clean the area up, but she didn't want this. So the chemo was planned to reduce the size of it, hopefully make it shrink down to a manageable comfortable size, and stop the weeping. The other option was, the wound would get bigger, wetter and more infected. Causing extreme pain, require lots of cleaning and dressing, and probably become infected and very smelly.
Now I'm sorry if at this point I paint a scary picture. But there is a harsh reality in here somewhere. Not every doctor or consultant will have the morals or ethics to make such a detailed and scary diagnosis, but it's for the best. Cancer is not something that happens inside the body where no one can see. It is a horrible horrible disease which can do all sorts of things to the human body, and cause problems that you would not even imagine. I am saying all of this for the same reason he did.... For peoples own good. It is only fair to know the truth from all angles.
Ok, so there we are, another appointment out of the way, another step towards dealing with the cancer. And most importantly the start of a fightback from mum. The woman who less than 2 weeks ago said she just wanted to "give up".
I think I should make another thing clear at this stage, my intentions at this stage are the same they have always been. From Day 1 my attitude has been it is her life she is of sound mind, and for the main part I would just respect her wishes, and once a decision is properly made (not irrationally) I will respect it, and go along with it. I'm sure you will see a battle with myself unfold as the story does, but for now, I was very happy with her choice to at least acknowledge the situation and accept some help.
From this point on, life is about to get very busy for us both, so let the flood of appointments begin.
Thanks for reading.
http://michaelsnasdell.wordpress.com/2008/03/04/back-from-the-hospital-with-the-results/
The results were inevitable really. Having alread been examined and diagnosed by Mr Hamed, it was not a matter of IF mum had cancer in both breasts, but more, what could be done about either or both of them. The diagnosis was explained in detail, and the list of options were to be explained. At this point I was in the waiting room, allowing mum some dignity and privacy while she was prodded and poked in the examination room. Like last time I was eventually called in and sat down.
The nurse and consultant explained the details of what they had found from the results, told me what it all meant, and got down to the conversation of treatments.
You can imagine my shock when Mr Hamed opened by saying mum had agreed to give chemo a go! Wow. From one week ago where she had just wanted to roll over and die, now she was expressing an interest into probably the roughest treatment open to her. Radiotherapy and surger had been suggested, however with the limited facts mum decided she would go with the "least intrusive" treatment. This however as some will know is not exactly the most accurate description of chemotherapy. Putting mum to one side for a moment we spoke frankly about the other options, and what the predicted outcome of those would be, just in case mum wanted to discuss them at home. She had refused to take any info on any other treatments, so I made sure I got what I could and left the appointment as well informed as I could be. This again was a decision that would prove invaluable, and also soon become a habit of mine.
On ending the appointment a basic prognosis was given. That was in short, the treatment on offer was more to do with comfort and maintaining the best possible condition, whilst also accepting it would NOT be a cure, and that from this point in the condition should be deemed terminal. As you can imagine, that's quite a difficult thing to hear and comprehend. She however claims she was always sure this would be the case,so was no surprise to her. Somehow I have my reservations on that. Believing something, and consigning yourself t death are two very different things. I think both of us left the appointment that day understanding, but not yet accepting what had been said.
As we went home I left the conversation for a while. Wanting mum to be the one wanting to discuss the matter, and just trying to focus on other this for the time being.sure enough it was not long before she started talking about it. Letting her lead, wanting to hear her purest thoughts on the matter without influencing her words with mine, I just left her to speak. As the conversation moved onto her accepting the treatment she explained why she had suddenly changed her mind.
It was apparent from this that while a quiet and humble man, Mr Hamed is also a very clever man at making his point, and pulling no punches. He had basically explained to her that there was NO easy option, slipping away was not as easy as it sounded, and that there were two choices. Chemo to get the lump under control and reduce it in size, or a slow painful undignified death. I know at this point it might seem extreme, but he was instrumental in being the detached influence on mum, and the one who got the train of thought moving. 100% support and commend him for this decision.
I should explain a little, the main tumour that mum has found, the more threatening one and the one that required immediate treatment was pushing through the skin of the breast. Actually sticking out of a wound in the side of her breast, which was weepy and predicted t just get worse and worse. In fact the only reason she had told me about it in the first place was because it was beginning to weep. The first choice of treatment was to whip it straight out and clean the area up, but she didn't want this. So the chemo was planned to reduce the size of it, hopefully make it shrink down to a manageable comfortable size, and stop the weeping. The other option was, the wound would get bigger, wetter and more infected. Causing extreme pain, require lots of cleaning and dressing, and probably become infected and very smelly.
Now I'm sorry if at this point I paint a scary picture. But there is a harsh reality in here somewhere. Not every doctor or consultant will have the morals or ethics to make such a detailed and scary diagnosis, but it's for the best. Cancer is not something that happens inside the body where no one can see. It is a horrible horrible disease which can do all sorts of things to the human body, and cause problems that you would not even imagine. I am saying all of this for the same reason he did.... For peoples own good. It is only fair to know the truth from all angles.
Ok, so there we are, another appointment out of the way, another step towards dealing with the cancer. And most importantly the start of a fightback from mum. The woman who less than 2 weeks ago said she just wanted to "give up".
I think I should make another thing clear at this stage, my intentions at this stage are the same they have always been. From Day 1 my attitude has been it is her life she is of sound mind, and for the main part I would just respect her wishes, and once a decision is properly made (not irrationally) I will respect it, and go along with it. I'm sure you will see a battle with myself unfold as the story does, but for now, I was very happy with her choice to at least acknowledge the situation and accept some help.
From this point on, life is about to get very busy for us both, so let the flood of appointments begin.
Thanks for reading.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
What's it all about.
While I talk about mum and her cancer on my own blog day to day, last night I had an epiphany, and that was to make something far more subjective, and focused. Something to document the story fully, rather than occasional entries which touch on the subject of the day.
So my plan is to try and write a book so to speak, from Feb 14th 2008 up to present day. The use of the blog is to jot down ideas, bounce them off people to see how they read, and then collate it all together to compile the book on an almost finished state.
So thank you to those who already follow my other blogs, and I hope I can rely on a few of you to give opinions and suggestions regarding this latest project.
I shall start this all very soon, just as soon as I am thinking straight.
So my plan is to try and write a book so to speak, from Feb 14th 2008 up to present day. The use of the blog is to jot down ideas, bounce them off people to see how they read, and then collate it all together to compile the book on an almost finished state.
So thank you to those who already follow my other blogs, and I hope I can rely on a few of you to give opinions and suggestions regarding this latest project.
I shall start this all very soon, just as soon as I am thinking straight.
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